in which apparently a new chapter in "where's my head" has begun, same as last chapter. the eyes want to drop down from 0, the head wants to go forward and lean into the seemingly oncoming reality, when the fact of the matter is that the reality is all around including "inside." the "separation" entirely illusory, maintained by membranes, necessary so that plans can be made and dreams realized.
when i pulled my neck back and tucked the chin past the endzone of current comfort into an outlandish "something wrong with your neck?" position i feel it all the way down to the pubic insertion of the quad. leg bone connected to the neck bone. the upper butt muscles wanted to tighten up, the pelvis wanted to raise its chin so to speak. head position. nitpicky. makes a difference.
so i walk around all the time just like i have a stick up my ass because the balance point i want is just behind my comfort zone. will it always be just behind? no, probably a new configuration will emerge from the discomfort, lumpy shoulderblades hanging from happy slack muscles while the head is happily way back there in the safe zone as the blade goes whistling by immediately in front of my nose.
but that stiffness in my left lower back when i would lift my left leg to put my pants on in the morning, years of it, currently in the 95% not there zone. continued signs that something is happening. scary & kool.