Friday, July 2, 2010

setpoint 1.1

setup 1.1
1. I used to think static all the time, take the position & live in it, hatha approach as it were. I took the position this morning. Deeper bend than yday. So, he didacted, I spend most of my waking time sitting down, then the rest of the time lying down. Even though I am thoroughly exercised, I am not up in the hills with the goats on a desertification project. Most of the day in a chair interacting with a screen. Major weakness of quads, correspondingly powerful and contracted hams. I've been addressing that by taking the stance(s) in an exaggeratedly bent-knee version, keep pelvis properly plumb ("tucked" maybe), chin tucked, relax they keep telling me. (Arm twisted over behind my head, me close to the ground, pain on one side, roll on the other, relax they keep telling me.) I want the quads to burn. I want to stand there and do my mind-eye-head roms while they burn. The burn gets too much, rise up, wiggle a bit, reset the feet etc. as appropriate, go back down. The burn I have trained my"self" to call it fun.
2. The name of the game is non-recruitment. The eye wants to follow the mind. (Terminology fuzzy: am I meaning the "attention" or the "will" or something. My current formulation is that the apparent "thing" that is apparently different from "all that stuff" out there commonly referred to as "me" is a construct of a bunch of "pieces" that don't work that well together.) Head wants to follow the eyes, shoulders want to follow the head. When the head turn is done right in any direction I feel it deep down under the shoulders. The muscle in there screams omg, then it starts to moan. (If you leave it there the poor violated muscle may go into a cramp and scream again. Is it pleasure or is it pain? Some people like to cramp their muscles, its like well you know. I heard the guvernator give a riff on that long ago. Then sometimes it will calm down all on its own, relax, start smiling, start to feel really good, want to do it again right away, or sometimes I have to stroke its hair, give it a hug, wipe away the tears, make it a cup of tea, there there, it'll feel better, you'll see, and it smiles weakly and says "I'll try to learn to like it, I love you so much". But we know we're going to do this again.) This is the meaning of "deep down inside."
3. Layers - I got this from Bates. If you stand outside and look at something far away in a landscape that has "stuff" preferably vertical stuff at various distances, and you rock from side to side without moving your eyes you will see the nearer things appear to "move" relative to the things in back of them. Layers. My goal is to focus on infinity as a standard because I get the widest spread of payable attention out of it. (I want to look "through" the close things, meaning there would be a double image of close stuff.) (Do this every now and then while in front of the screen why doncha.) (Time to get up out of the chair, move the pelvis, standing up relaxing for me, I go to meetings stand in a corner, don't mind me I tell em, I fall asleep at meetings if I'm sitting down.) I want to find the farthest layers to see them move against each other. Not watching, seeing. Mind wants stuff, wants to follow, dog sniffs, finds that which it seeks. If mind does not follow more stuff is noticed I notice. Birds are coming to the feeder as I do these moves about 5 feet away. A hummingbird while I was playing with my sword.

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